What to do if your dating your best friends crush

That doesn't give him any rights. You are worried what he might do. You think that in his mind he has some idea that he has the right to do something because he had a crush. Of course he has no such right. To prevent him from doing something stupid, do what you can to wipe that idea out from his mind. If he says she left him, tell everyone loudly that no, she never left him, because they never were together in the first place, that she never gave him any indication that he had any chance, and that he was rejected.

That will be painful for him. Not getting over her will be much more painful. For a start, it prevents him from meeting any of the single women around him. You will not be able to make both of these people entirely happy. So the first decision is whom of them you want to make happy, and whom of them you want to minimize damage for. That decision alone is subject of countless books and movies. So I'll not delve into it, that is your decision to make based on history, personality and how high you rate your chance that this person will still be your friend or girlfriend in 1, 3, 5, 10, 20 years.

Once you decided, you put your entirely loyalty to the person you decided for. In case of doubt, always side with them. Never leave any doubt. Especially do not flip-flop, trying to appease both. The second person still deserves your respect and that your actions do minimal harm to them.

For example, avoid talking about the primary person while in the company of the secondary person. Nobody wants to be reminded that you picked someone else over them. And that is really all you can do. How people handle their own emotions is up to them. You can avoid piling on, but you cannot manage it for them. So your friend gave you a green light, it's nice and considerate of you to have asked beforehand, because that wasn't obligatory, certainly But trying to ruin your relationship is what he is doing with this.

Whether he realizes it or not, that admission is going to put a strain on your relationship with either your friend or your girlfriend or both. That's a very noble intention of you, but it sounds from everything else like that's only going to make matters worse. I'd recommend sitting it out and letting your friend get himself back together on his own. Be there when he wants to talk to you about it, but don't actively go seeking it out.

It may be he just needs some time to process this and come down from emotional turmoil, the source of which is your relationship with this girl now. So it's probably best to not actively remind him of it. But you also need to keep your girlfriend's feelings about this in mind. Make sure that in the process of trying to make amends with your friend you don't disregard her feelings. Be polite with your friend and explain him the entire situation. You listed here how you feel and all that stuff, so tell him that. If he understood it completely and assures you it's fine then it's all good.

On the other hand, if he tries to do some comments in front of your friends, never meet your gf and friend at same place. That way the problem won't arise: As A J already said there is'nt a really good answer to this since there are many different possibility to go from there. Only thing I will do is give you my opinion and what I would do in your situation.

You can think about it and dismiss or use whatever I will say. You really need to think about what your goal with this girl is. You want to stay with her for years?


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Can she be the one? Or you now already see that it won't be forever and you just enjoy your time with her? When I would be you and I would answer those questions with 'she is the one' 'forever' or whatever, I would stay with your girl.


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Friends come and go and someday you will move to another city or country and lose contact with your friend, but this girl will always stay with you. Still you don't really need to feel bad with your friend.

Girl Code: Should I or Shouldn’t I Date a Friend’s Crush? By Rachel Russo

She rejected him and now she wants you. You can't change a thing about this and can just try to be a good friend to him eventho you got 'his' girl. By clicking "Post Your Answer", you acknowledge that you have read our updated terms of service , privacy policy and cookie policy , and that your continued use of the website is subject to these policies.

Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. Unintentionally started dating my best friend's crush. How to talk to him about it? How do I talk to my friend about this situation? We can't make life decisions for you, that's not an Interpersonal Skill. If I read between the lines, I can see a 'What can I do to keep all three of us the happiest', but that's opinion based and too broad. All the possible solutions would require a book, not 1 answer He told you he was ok with it, didn't he? You're not a mind-reader. Which is somewhat a contradiction in this case.

Lirum larum, what I'm saying is: The situation sucks, but you shouldn't feel "guilty", IMO. This question could be filed under conflict resolution but as it is now, it's too opinion-based and rather broad. What does "make all three parties the least unhappy" really mean? Does the OP need advice on how to resolve this conflict with his friend? This is clearly between the two friends, the GF has nothing to do with it.

So they can be edited, have more detail and are made a good fit for the site. I think both you and Xander are on to something: This may be a good question about conflict resolution. Now, what input do we need from the OP to get there? I definitely stayed away from talking about her to him, because at the time, I believed that even though he does not like her, it's not really good for him to hear about her and me.

What To Do When Your Dating Your Best Friend's Crush | ВКонтакте

Since it shows he cares enough about you to at least try and suppress how he feels - really, really good insight. Many HS relationships go nowhere. And having a crush on your friend's partner is an awful feeling, but it happens. I'm sure he would get over her if he could snap his fingers. Unfortunately, crushes don't work out that way. I've been in the friend's position before. My best friend dated my crush. I agree with this answer. I would've been upset no matter what my friend had told me.

If it was an accident, I would've been upset that it had to happen to me. If it wasn't an accident, I would've been angry at him. In the end, he avoided me until I calmed down took me a few weeks to get over the emotional response , he sympathized with my position, I accepted that he didn't do it knowingly, and we continued our friendship.

Dating My Best Friend’s Crush?

You found yourself in an impossible situation with conflicting goals, congratulations. Tom Tom 6, 11 They look cute together. Wow, she looks beautiful, this is going to be so great.

Yo go home and ask God to erase those feelings. You go to your phone and delete your text conversations. You are eating with your friend. It is getting exhausting to pretend this much. Every time she mentions something you already know about him, you try so hard not to laugh or smile and say you already know. Instead, you go home and write a song about him and keep hoping the feelings will go away.

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Freaking Spotify starts recommending songs that remind you of him. So, you log off.

Dating & Friendship Advice: When Your Best Friend Likes Your Crush

As soon as you do, your friend calls and reminds you to invite him to her birthday party. You text him and talk about everything but the birthday party. The party finally arrives. He shows up late and when you see him you see your friend smiling, happy as hell. You think to yourself, let the acting begin once again.