Dating for 20s

I have recently turned Quite a big birthday, I think. I am now the same age Otis Redding was when he wrote arguably all his best songs. But most importantly, it marks the middle of supposedly the best decade of my life. Or half-way through a great party.

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So, on this, the eve of my 25 th birthday, I give you everything I have learnt so far: A good relationship is one where you take turns to be the parent for each other. A bad one is when this is unbalanced. Partners should both need each other equally, at different times, for different reasons. Of course a first date should not be an activity, you mad asshat. Stop making it complicated. You should only ever be eating, drinking, talking or snogging on a first date.


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I have never seen it happen the other way round. If you really like someone, you really should not have sex with them on the first date. If you are having doubts about your relationship — this is the litmus test: Now that's something that has changed from when I was in my early 20s. In my early 20s, when I got dumped I would just party wth my gal pals until I got distracted by the next guy at the bar.

It doesn't work like that anymore. Dating in your late 20s means you get invested. You're mature enough to keep yourself open. You know what being open even fucking means!!! I'll level with you. I just got dumped by someone who I felt really safe with. He's liked me for a long time and I was so sure it was going to work out. So, I did the late 20s thing. I let myself be open.

Why Dating in Your 20s Is Like Eating an Avocado | HuffPost

I let myself believe that this would be long term. I didn't feel like we were rushing anything but I had no reason to be doubtful or to believe that I'd ever have to consider the outcome that I'm forced to face now. And that's when you hear it. Something you never heard in your early 20s but has become the resounding bell of your late 20s, "I'm not lovable. Which is why I'm sitting here with a half drunk bottle of cheap merlot listening to Dallas Green like the emotional mess that my week has been.

There is that fear that you'll never meet someone. Or by the time you do, your eggs will be shriveled up worse than your finger after sitting in a hot tub for too long. The voice of doubt and judgement only gets louder as we get older. We are so quick to blame ourselves and that makes sense. When you get dumped it's hard to conceptualized that it's not you. After all, you keep getting dumped so at some point, aren't YOU the constant?

The truth is you are loveable.

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You just haven't met someone who celebrates that. And who gives a fuck if you haven't met them in your late 20s? You're still in your 20s!! My friend Courtney reminded me of a Grey's quote this week that sums it up, "He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. What I'm learning is that being single in your late 20s is just an opportunity. You don't have any reason to NOT do something. You can be you.


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You can explore and focus as much or as little as you want. And you get to do it at a time in your life when you're the most self-aware you've ever been! That is such a liberating feeling. I'll admit, none of this is easy for me. Sure I can sit here and say all these empowering things but the actions are a lot harder to follow through on.

Pump your soul with self-love, friendships, experiences, new challenges, and fears. The sooner you do that the quicker you will realize that being single in your late 20s is no different than any other time in your life.